WEALTHY MEANING..I seem to be given mountains to climb.If that’s how it is then so be it! l lost my father..then my mother. My cherished grandmother.Lost my home..My marriage.I didn’t see my two precious sons l love for long periods.My pride and dignity of work.My business has gone. l became homeless, suicidal and an alcoholic at 50.All this in a period of seven years or less.Now l am building a business at 55. A WEALTHY MEANING..Oh God l have climbed so many mountains. One more won’t make a difference! l am now supposed to talk about WEALTHY MEANING. I will leave this to the financial experts and the many books written on financial wealth. Money to me is like oxygen! To me it is a direct result of the energy l put out. When l look back every time l was down to my last cent.
Money seems to come, for that property deal in the tens or hundreds of thousands. Or that meal, a drink!
WEALTHY MEANING I even had a lady give me fifty dollars in advance for a haircut in the street.
Strange thing when l bumped into her.
She had no idea l was broke and wondering where my lunch would come from. Law of attraction moves in mysterious ways.
More on money later. WEALTHY MEANING can have other definitions. I am going to continue my story to the current day.
The previous blog l was saying how the business is growing. How the landlord paid for the renovation. The challenges in business.
Just another mountain to climb. WEALTHY MEANING. The French blonde Monique is still coming around the salon for coffees.
Again l say we attract people in our lives for reasons we can’t see at the time. Monique was one of them as it turns out.
The two key people in my life are my business partner and secondly as time would prove, Monique.
We had a secret that we withheld from each other during those coffees. We were both alcoholics!
On our best behavior. Both lonely and a past we were trying to escape. Both with brave faces. However both struggling!NOT A WEALTHY MEANING I was renting a room and Monique was renting a room as well.
Being cautious l took my time,though it was an inescapable vacuum..Passion is a very powerful emotion.
WEALTHY MEANING can be yr passion and emotions. l want to resist this whirlpool of attraction, slowly spinning ever down into the vortex.
Down l go, like being in a tunnel. A tunnel of love(l hate to admit it).
Doors open when you search.l wanted my own apartment. I didn’t have any leasing history. I was making a living but lived from week to week. l didn’t have money for a bond.
How could l get my own place? WEALTHY MEANING to me is having yr needs met.
WEALTHY MEANING is climbing the mountain again!
WEALTHY MEANING is having the desire and faith to climb. This time I have been given a mountain to climb.
In the form of manifesting a home, and a home it is.
This happens time and time again!Believe things into happening.
WEALTHY MEANING. The luxury apartment my friend lent me when l was homeless was up for vacancy.
I imagined within, a beautiful apartment to live.And now here it is.Manifested into reality!
This is not a coincidence.Faith moves mountains.WEALTHY MEANING..A luxury apartment fully furnished just handed over to me.
Pay for the furniture etc later! A WEAlTHY MEANING. For me to take over if l could afford it.
Yes of course l took it. Now l need to afford it. Mountains can become hills if you rise high enough above it.
Better still just move the mountain! I moved in with all the furniture in the apartment left behind.
l struck a deal with my friend that l would give him a sum of money for the bond and furniture in good time as long as l could pay the rent.
A WEALTHY MEANING. The obvious developed and Monique moved in the week later with her cat.I fantasized about living in a luxury apartment with a beautiful woman many times while l was homeless.
And here l am looking at her having a shower in this amazing bathroom.
A secure warm place. High up with a city lights like diamonds glimmering in the horizon.What a view,mmm yes view!
Some times in yr dreams you can become Bond in real life. For that moment in time.
Careful what you ask for it will come! Though this is a dream come true,there is a dark side to this living arrangement.
We are both alcoholics..WEALTHY MEANING to me is if negative circumstance comes my way l refuse to accept it!
Refuse to accept it..l focus within. Only accept abundance, good and love in my reality.
Miracles happen for what l gracefully ask or desire in life.
A WEALTHY MEANING……..Monique is extremely fit and trains regularly..I was piling on weight, balding and twenty years older.
Somehow l managed to attract this amazingly beautiful women. My mates called her the ‘Bond’ girl from the movies.So now l am living with this women.
Building a business..living in a luxury apartment..after being homeless at fifty. WEALTHY MEANING..To all you men out there.WEALTHY MEANING.
Take this advice..You are never to old to pick yr life up!Never to late to reinvent yourself..
Get off the unemployment and loneliness trap.Stop feeling sorry for yourself and reconnect with the world again.
A WEALTHY MEANING. You never know what great opportunities lies around the corner.
Who you might meet as a result of getting out there mixing with productive people.
A true meaning of being connected. This is A WEALTHY MEANING. There are people out there willing to help you help yourself.Just show a willingness.A positive attitude.
There is power in being humble and asking how? How do l dig myself out of this shit hole?
My transformation is yet to come as this is only the beginning of my story.
Monique one week would train like crazy while looking amazingly fit. The following week she would binge drink to the point of collapse.I drank every day as well.
My alcohol intake was on a daily basis as l worked. l could cut hair and do my clients while pacing my self with a beer without a problem.
Sometimes l would be a little over. I was able to get away with this in the salon for years.
NOT A WEALTHY MEANING. Pubs,clubs..mates and a crazy blonde were a way of life for me now.
Yes Monique and l had some horrible fights then mad sex then fights and so on.
I was never violent at all,never. l can’t say the same for Monique as she was the violent drunk.
When you have a women coming at you with fists and in a drunk rage there is not much that can be done.
Except try to block to protect yourself. Never ever retaliate.Your’e the male. Keep cool.
A WEALTHY MEANING IN BEING A MAN..look after your women,just like your mother.
You are the stronger one..I mean this!
Never strike back..Walk away. Take the high ground.
Keep yr integrity,that’s the best way. Next day Monique would realize how bad her behaviour was and she would apologize continually.The abuser realizes the next day, that’s when l calmly say my piece.
Thats more effective! l have learn’t to be careful what l say with words.
You can’t take back what has been said!
NOT A WEALTHY MEANING. Anxiety was prevalent with both of us. More so with Monique.
Monique taught me to never judge people by their appearance. People just wouldn’t believe
that such a fit healthy, cute looking women.
Lovely and intelligent has to deal with these demons inside tormenting her.
Her relationship with her family is at the point of contempt. NOT A WEALTHY MEANING.
As time would pass l felt sorry for her mental health issues. Alcohol just amplified this to the extreme.
For me alcohol was more like a continual sedative. Just chill and go to work.I was good at my craft and you couldn’t fire me.
My business partner though technically my boss depended on me to turn this business around. Which l managed to do.
l was getting away being an alcoholic for the time being. NOT A WEALTHY MEANING.
Money was coming in to support this lifestyle. I’m starting to think that l am spending a good portion of my life living in an unconscious state.
Even though l push life with faith.
A WEALTHY MEANING God is about to give me another mountain to climb.In the form of helping Monique finish her medical course.
She has run out of money and needs to finish it to become a medical nurse.Otherwise she will work in coffee shops for the rest of her life.
l don’t understand if l am being targeted as a fool or what?
My instincts say it is just life calling upon me again.
Thankfully l have good people to mentor me.
l have a dear friend, a client whom l have been cutting his hair for 15 yrs or more. A highly successful man well known, leading a well known global corporation.
l wish l could name this gem. l won’t out of privacy and respect. A WEALTHY MEANING.
So we had a truthful chat about Monique and her future.
My friend says to me..”What would you prefer? Buy a new car as a momento to your ego? Or help a human being with a genuine need”.
A WEALTHY MEANING…Now l see why this man is where he is in life and status!
My friend,myself and Monique..We are all connected in this life..l will never forget this advice as long as l live.
A WEALTHY MEANING from a man who understands what A WEALTHY MEANING truly stands for. Helping people.Having an impact on their lives.Leaving a good legacy.
That’s what life to me is about! As l will on Monique’s future. A WEALTHY MEANING.
Some how over the next couple years we found the money. Price of a new car it cost..Today she is no longer a waitress.
Proudly a medical nurse getting paid good money. Thats what l call A WEALTHY MEANING.
As for the car? They just depreciate anyway. Another mountain out of the way. My biggest challenge is yet to come. My alcoholism!
l am drinking every day sometimes in the morning just pacing my self. Never to much to lose control,but all the time.
Monique is battling the binge drinking. NOT A WEALTHY MEANING.Then the following week getting up at 4.30am and going to the gym four five times a week.
Amazing she can do the two opposites and get away with it. Our relationship was passionate one moment the next volatile.
Many times she got violent only to regret the day after. l wasn’t an angel.l had a way of retaliating with my words.
That can be cutting and hurtful..NOT A WEALTHY MEANING.
For that l am ashamed of. l promised my self to this day even when pushed, to keep my mouth shut.
So far to this day l have kept my promise to my self. That l am! Better for it.
Monique went to Alcoholics Anonymous for help.Monique felt that if she didn’t seek help.Monique could hurt someone or herself badly.Good on her for trying A.A helped her a lot.
ln the mean time l am in denial drinking, running a business and getting away with it! My beer belly is over my belt line.My liver screaming. l have developed Gout..like any alcoholic just prodding along in denial.
NOT A WEALTHY MEANING. Business is doing ok..l am not..Depression and anxiety is an issue for both of us..more for Monique.
She is seeking mental help and counseling with a drug and rehab centre at Royal Nth Shore hospital.
A free service once you get a doctors referral .Use this service as it is there to help.
A WEALTHY MEANING. As l later discovered.My business partner tells me she won’t renew the lease of the salon.l don’t have the funds to take it over.
Especially after paying for Monique’s medical education.
This is causing more stress and anxiety. More drinking as a result. Not a WEALTHY MEANING at all. l refuse to accept anything negative in my life! Some how l know l will be ok.I started looking for places to lease space in other salons.
l have built up a decent clientele so l could take them with me.
This is stressful. Alcoholism,a business that is likely to close down and nowhere to go.
In my mind l refuse to accept anything negative!
A WEALTHY MEANING IN MY HEART..FAITH!
My continual prayers and a vision always manifest in time.Faith moves mountains!
Continually visualizing a better future keep me going..l ask in my week moment and think to my self. Haven’t l gone through enough?..If it wasn’t for that internal flame within, knowing.l wouldn’t be where l am today!
Faith moves mountains! A WEALTHY MEANING……….I Just go to the pub and hangout with my deadbeat mates and forget.
Get fat..get sick..live in denial..yeah l can cut hair with my eyes closed these days.
Not a good attitude..NO WEALTHY MEANING in this.Inside me there is a bomb going to go off.
Like my beer belly exploding!….Even in a dark hour..Faith is you calling God. Holding true silently..Your inner voice is God talking to you within.
Even in the bottom of my beer glass!.Yes a drunk,l hear a little voice guiding me all the way.In time I will change!
Even when l am anxious and depressed. My intuition says hang on.
Even in struggles there is a WEALTHY MEANING.
One January morning..Again within an hour my life changed.
l worked up the courage and rang the estate agent to inform him that we are terminating the business.
My partner is pulling out. l have no funds to take over.This was liberating and sad.
After all this effort in this business.It is over.Or is it? l had a plan to move my clientele elsewhere. Don’t know where yet? Again miracles happen!
A WEALTHY MEANING. I get a call from my business partner..We strike up a deal in the eleventh hour.
In ten minutes of negotiation l have my own the business.
A financial solution has come..All in a ten minute call. A WEALTHY MEANING..I better call the estate agent after less than an hour from conceding the business.
To Inform him that l am taking over the business..During that call l secured a lease,one month free rent as well.
Five years ago l was destitute and homeless..l now own a business that is making money…….Again! Faith manifests into reality!
I say hold faith.Hold youre persistence in vision,pray. Believe things into existence. Have value in yourself! .
It will come. A WEALTHY MEANING. The lease contract was made up and signed.
All other matters transferred. While l am trading .A WEALTHY MEANING in faith.A WEALTHY MEANING in life a lesson.l now have a business, a great apartment..Better than giving up and being homeless with no hope, without direction.
Not A WEALTHY MEANING……….My denial in alcohol and Monique trying to beat her demons are becoming a big issue.
Arguments and depression have set in. Monique’s mental health is suffering.One day after a drunk night and another argument Monique attempted suicide by attempting to jump out of our apartment window.
The lowest point in our relationship. l grabbed her body as she was half way out of a twelve story window..NO NOT A WEALTHY MEANING!
One will never know what could of happened? Moments later we were both in shock. The next day we organized counseling for us.
There was another time she felt suicidal as well, Though l was able to calm her down and get her to have a good meal, cup of herbal tea and a good night sleep.
By this stage in our relationship l felt l was walking on eggshells. NOT A WEALTHY MEANING here at all..A dysfunctional relationship.
l had to do something for us both! l organize counseling for us both. l am getting fatter and my gout is getting worse.
My liver is screaming. My mates in the pub look like me..beer bellies..and mostly shallow conversation.
l don’t want to get sick or end up a lonely alcoholic.
l am very concerned for Monique.Thats where we are heading..For help! Many old mates from before as l mentioned in my previous blog have died from alcoholism…Seriously! Some as young as forty years of age. My biggest Challenge is looking at me in the mirror. Yes me and my belly! It is about to explode! I must change my ways!
A WEALTHY MEANING.A realization that Monique trying to change and my drinking is not supporting her as well.
Overcoming alcohol addiction is a struggle and a downward spiral. lt keeps you broke.
Takes away the edge in the mind.
Clarity is a distant word replaced by fogginess and Anxiety that leads to depression. The hurt it brings to yr loved ones!.l am no doctor.My experience here tells me alcohol and depression are connected.
This is my experience along with Monique..A WEALTHY MEANING.A feeling of well being and clarity is a foggy distant dream far away.
I feel like a hypocrite and yes I am a piss head!……l went passed this banner in a gym that said ‘Give us twelve weeks and we will give you a new body!’.A WEALTHY MEANING.
My ego liked that sign and l wrote down the number…..I want “all” my life back!
God moves in mysterious ways! A fat fifty seven yr old alcoholic wants a new body?
Is that possible? The end of yr journey is only the beginning of your next one..Perhaps the greatest journey of all..A way..A path of reversal..A transformation! to be continued……..